i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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