Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
