I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
