Pappa wants mamma naked
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
