It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
