I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
