I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
