So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You need Xanax blowdarts
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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