found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
