physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just had sex bonerless
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
