nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she was so not down for the gang bang
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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