There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize