Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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