saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
