i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
