Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize