Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize