after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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