Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
