Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
