dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i think my cat just said my name.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
