no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize