I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
