Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
