At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
