Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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