I wannas sexs uuuuu
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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