Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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