Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
