Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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