I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
