things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
