i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
