Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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