I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
