Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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