My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
