I cockslap morals
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
