I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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