I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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