if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize