would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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