that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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