Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Bring me that man meat
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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