at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
