Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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