I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize