oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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