i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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