I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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