Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
