direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's like iHOP with fire
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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