The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize