i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize