do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
