Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
