I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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