You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize