Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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