Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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