i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
