but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just high enough for therapy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
