remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
