Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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