i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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