It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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