just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize