there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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