I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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